Why It’s So Easy to Spot What’s Wrong (and Miss What’s Right)

Why It’s So Easy to Spot What’s Wrong (and Miss What’s Right)

By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar

You ever notice how fast we can point out what's broken, but how slow we are to celebrate what’s still standing?

It’s wild, really. In a world that’s already spinning fast, folks seem to have no problem zooming in on every mishap, mess-up, or misstep like we’re all walking around with emotional magnifying glasses strapped to our faces, trained to catch the smallest flaws. But ask those same folks to stop and acknowledge the beauty, the kindness, the quiet strength someone shows every day and suddenly, everyone’s got blurry vision.

We’re living in a time where the negative gets front-row seats and the good stuff gets shoved in the balcony. Mistakes go viral, but compassion barely makes it past the porch. It’s like we’ve developed a taste for the bitter and turned our noses up at the sweet. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a person get full off of bitterness it only eats away at you.

Most of us? We’re quick to voice our frustrations. We’ll raise our voices, roll our eyes, send a heated text, slam a door if we have to just to make sure someone knows we’re mad. But when it comes to expressing love? Showing affection? Saying, “Hey, I appreciate you,” or “I see you trying”? That gets stuck in our throats like it’s a foreign language. Anger seems to ride shotgun, while compassion struggles to find a seatbelt in the back.

And you’ve got to ask why is that? Why is it so easy to express irritation, but so hard to say, “I care about you,” or “Thank you for being there”? Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s pride. Maybe we just got so used to conflict that connection feels awkward.

But here's the kicker what you express most often becomes your emotional home. So if you're constantly building with bricks of anger, don’t be surprised when your house feels cold. And if love is a guest in your home, don’t expect it to unpack its bags.

I’ve seen it play out in conversations, relationships, workplaces even in how we talk to ourselves. We zero in on what didn’t go right, what could’ve been better, how someone dropped the ball. But rarely do we say, “Hey, you know what? They were really trying,” or “Man, look at all the stuff that did go well.”

Let me tell you something from my own life: growing up, my grandmother Celestine didn’t spend her time nitpicking people. She had this way of noticing the little good things the ones that most folks missed. Like how someone held the door for another, or how a neighbor shared what little they had without making a fuss. She’d catch it all. And I think that was her superpower she had eyes for strength, not just weakness.

My mom, Marva, was the same. She’d walk into a room full of tension, chaos even, and somehow still find something to be grateful for. “It’s a mess,” she’d say, “but look how we’re still standing in it.” That kind of perspective? That’s a muscle you gotta work out, especially when life keeps throwing curveballs.

But let’s be real negativity is loud. It shouts, it nags, it demands attention. Meanwhile, peace? It just sits there, sipping tea, hoping someone notices it. Gratitude doesn’t yell. Support doesn’t bang on your door. Appreciation doesn’t beg for applause. You’ve got to want to see those things. You’ve got to choose them. And that’s where most people stumble they don’t know how to look for the light unless the power goes out.

I’ve been in rooms where the air was thick with tension, where nobody was saying what needed to be said but everybody was silently keeping score of each other’s faults. You ever been there? It’s exhausting. And the truth is, that kind of environment makes it almost impossible to grow. It’s like trying to plant seeds in concrete. But toss a little love, a little humor, a little grace into the mix? Suddenly, things start to bloom.

Here’s what I’ve learned: what we choose to magnify becomes our world. If you focus on the cracks, you’ll start to think everything’s falling apart. But if you focus on the light coming through those cracks, you realize hey, maybe things aren’t as hopeless as they seem.

I’ve met people going through absolute hell financial stress, heartbreak, illness, all of it. And you know what’s wild? Some of them still smile. Still hold doors. Still say thank you. That’s not weakness. That’s warrior-level strength in disguise.

But it’s not flashy, so it gets missed.

You know what else gets missed? The parent who stays up late helping their kid study. The friend who sends a “just checking in” text even when their own world’s falling apart. The stranger who gives up their seat without needing a round of applause. These are the quiet giants. The real MVPs. And we walk past them every day like they’re part of the wallpaper.

Why? Because it’s easier to complain. It's easier to roast someone than to raise them up. It's easier to scroll past the good than to sit with it and let it touch you.

But I’m telling you right now flip that lens. Train your heart to notice what’s beautiful, even when life looks messy. Choose to see what’s working, what’s healing, what’s still sacred. Not because it’s trendy, but because your soul needs it.

You can’t feed your spirit off criticism alone. Eventually, you’ve got to sit at the table with joy, peace, forgiveness, and yes, even a little laughter. You’ve got to remind yourself that the Creator didn’t design us to be misery detectives we’re wired for connection, for hope, for transformation.

So the next time you're tempted to talk about what someone didn’t do, pause and think about what they did do. Instead of keeping a mental list of failures, keep a journal of wins even the small ones, like “I didn’t lose my cool in traffic today,” or “I actually drank water before coffee.” Celebrate that.

Me? I’m still learning. I still catch myself dwelling on what went wrong before I recognize what went right. But I’m trying. And I think that’s what counts.

So yeah, it's easier to see the weak spots but it's way more rewarding to notice the strength that’s still standing. Try doing that for a while. It might just change how you see everything.

And hey, if you mess up? Welcome to the club. Just don’t forget to give yourself some grace too. We’re all works in progress with a little glitter and a little grit.