Flowers for the Living
By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar
Life moves fast, doesn’t it? One moment, everything feels great; the next, you’re carrying the weight of regrets, wishing you had done things differently. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. The people we take for granted the most are often our family, friends, and partners. It’s not that we don’t care it’s that life’s chaos consumes us. We get angry, we get stubborn, and sometimes we carry those feelings far longer than we should.
I learned this lesson the hard way. I wasn’t ready for my mother to die. No one ever is, but what happened the day before was even worse. We had an argument a big one. It was over something small, something I barely even remember now. I was wrong, and I knew it in my heart. But I let my pride turn a trivial issue into a massive fight. That was our last conversation, and it has haunted me for years, creeping back into my thoughts at the most unexpected moments.
The pain of that memory taught me a profound lesson: never let the things that go wrong stop you from showing the people who matter most how much they mean to you. Life is far too short to allow grudges, silence, or pettiness to come between you and your loved ones.
How often do we hold back from saying what we truly want to say? How many times do we hesitate, waiting for the “right time,” only to watch it slip away? We delay expressing gratitude, saying "I love you," or even offering a simple "I’m sorry." And for what? Pride? Fear?
Here’s something that stuck with me: the word eulogy comes from the Greek eulogia, meaning “praise” or “good speech.” It’s a beautiful gesture to speak well of someone, but why do we reserve those words for memorials? Why don’t we say how much someone means to us while they’re still alive to hear it? Doesn’t that feel strange?
I’m done living like that. When my mother passed, I made a promise to myself: if I love someone, if I’m grateful to them, if I care about them deeply, I will tell them. If I want someone to know how much they mean to me, I’ll say it now not later.
It’s not always easy. We’re human, after all. We clash, we argue, and we let our emotions get the best of us. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to do better. It doesn’t mean we can’t heal, rebuild, and repair what’s been broken.
Here’s how I see it: giving someone their flowers while they can still smell them isn’t just a metaphor it’s an act of love. It’s a way of saying, “You matter to me.” And those “flowers” don’t have to be literal. They can be as simple as an unexpected phone call, a heartfelt apology, or quality time spent together.
When was the last time you truly praised someone? The last time you told your parents, “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me”? When did you last tell your partner, “I’m so grateful for you”? Or called a friend who’s always been there for you just to say, “Thank you for being in my life”?
In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to lose sight of the little things that matter most. But trust me they do matter. They mean everything.
I understand it’s not always easy. Beneath smiles, there are often deep scars. At times, the distance between us and others feels too vast to bridge. But it’s worth trying. You’d be surprised how much a small olive branch, a touch of humility, or a sincere “I was wrong” can do.
There are no guarantees of second chances. Not everyone gets the opportunity to mend what’s been broken. That’s why it’s so important to act now, to speak now, to love now.
If you’re reading this, take a moment to think about the people in your life the ones who’ve stood by you, shown you kindness, or simply brought joy into your world. Don’t wait. Reach out to them. Say what you’ve been holding back.
Life is unpredictable, and time is promised to no one. The flowers we give now will always mean more than the ones we bring to a funeral. Honor the people you love not in an over-the-top or ceremonial way, but genuinely, from the heart. Be real. Be vulnerable. Let them feel your gratitude and love.
Losing my mother was a wake-up call. It reminded me that love isn’t something to ration or save for later. It’s meant to be shared freely, widely, and often. I’m not perfect; I don’t always get it right. But I try. Every single day, I try.
So here’s my challenge to you: stop hesitating. Give your flowers now. Make that call. Write that note. Mend that broken relationship. Let go of grudges, anger, and silence. Remind the people you love that they matter while there’s still time for them to hear and believe it.
When your time comes, whenever that may be, you’ll have the peace of knowing you lived fully, loved deeply, and left nothing unsaid.
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